we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
