we're chasing vodka with high fives
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
