Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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