So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
