I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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