He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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