This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
