My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
