well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
