He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
