Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
