Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
