But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
