I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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