How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bring me that man meat
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
