is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
