I need help removing her.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
