You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
