My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
