So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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