so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
