I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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