The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
