Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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