omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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