I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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