I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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