I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
