the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
