Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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