omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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