I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
