i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
