i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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