You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
