No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
