but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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