I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
