Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
