i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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