i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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