Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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