Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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