No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
