let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
