New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sorry my hands just texted you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
