Me too!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
