I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
