omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
