real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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