Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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