So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
