Got a toothbrush?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize