I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
