I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
