whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
