Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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