he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
